Apparently one little push of a button can lead to something! lol So now I have a blog.
Let me tell you about myself. I just turned 41 years old. I feel the same as I did when I was 15. Immature! lol I am quite young looking considering I am now middle-aged, but hey...that's okay!
I recently broke up with my boyfriend, he is in the army and 25 years old! yummy...lol Anyway, it was fun while it lasted.
We did not break up for the usual someone found someone else and someone got dumped. It was mutual, we both agreed that we were no longer happy. The relationship started to become real and we both had no time to be real!....lol
I am just kidding!!! He adored me, and I can't say I blame him...lol He just became demanding on my time and did not like the fact that I have a lot of friends, and our Work schedules, personal schedules, etc...
So enough of him. Let's move on to the next subject...
I am a single mother who lives in Las Vegas. I have a soon-to-be 16 year old son living at home with me. Like all mothers...he is the apple of my eye! What the bajeebers does that mean? lol Oh well...he is!!! He is near perfect with the exception that he is somewhat of a procrastinator. I can understand procrastination, but I think his borders on laziness. I suppose that goes along with the fact he is a teen. My motto on procrastination is...I don't procrastinate, I reschedule! I find it to be very true of myself..lol I am sure someday he will learn to reschedule! lol
I think I am the world's funniest person. I am always cracking up at the funny things I say and do. My family just look at me like I am insane and then say...that's not even funny! lol Matters not whether it was or not, only matters that I think it was and tickled myself for a moment.
I have a job, quite boring. I'm very serious!! It is boring, and I find my days are super long. I am the only person holding this little fort down day after day.
I find it very disturbing that in this day and age people are not allowed to speak their opinions, thoughts regarding political candidates and their stand regarding political matters.
I am outraged that too many people have to apologize to Obama because someone said something that others did not consider PC, but whatever happened to our rights as citizens to say what we believe, think, and feel?
What is your opinion? I promise you, I won't make you apologize! lol I am just wondering if there are others out there that feel the same as me.....
Words of wisdom and support all rolled up in to one name! lol I've been reading blogs that others write and the name of one person who consistently comments is that of Layloni. She has commented on my blogs as well and I have always felt support in her words. I am sure that others can feel it as well.
Words are very powerful I had once written, tis true, I should know as words rule my daily life. Each day I sit in my office and I listen. I listen to others' stories of heartbreak, hate, anger, misunderstandings and confusions. I sit thinking...hmmm
I see how others' lives look so perfect on the outside but all I hear is all the turmoil on the inside. Beautiful 4,000 sq ft homes, three cars, boats, money, and everything most would want. None of any real significance to heal the human psyche. That is where I come in...day in...day out..all these emotions can drain a person, can at times make one feel helpless - feel uncaring, untrusting. I try to help others to the best of my ability, but when I need my release it is not words from family, friends, or professionals that help me, it is words I commit to blogs written on this site. It is the words of others who send me emails and comments of encouragement and understanding. Words from strangers such as Layloni...thanks
To all those online who are reading blogs...COMMENT! It doesn't hurt, only takes a few minutes of your time, can extend something greater to another person when they are feeling most vulnerable, Now as for the dating issue online...lol...I cannot help...ASK LAYLONI...lol
.....It just doesn't make any sense to me why someone who professed their love for you can walk away from you and yet want to remain in contact at the same time?
I just don't get it....why after walking away would he continually want to talk to me and accuse me of not being honest when I was nothing but honest.
Why? Horrible words are being spewed all for the sake of hurting me. Why? Why? Why?
Why can't he just walk away and stop harassing me?
Not really! lol I am in a rather happy mood. I am celebrating 1) One week of being without a certain person 2) Not paying a certain person's bills 3) Not giving $300 weekly allowance to a certain person 4) No hostility or whining 5) Laughter is now in my daily life...YAY MEEEEE!!!!
I am at work doing absolutely nothing but listening, downloading and dancing to music when I should be out of my office intimidating others! lol Kidding :)
Is actually easier than I thought it would be :) lol
My life is progressing rather smoothly and I find my thoughts are not filled with a selfish, lying individual as they were previously.
Hours earlier I had paid his cell phone so that he would be able to keep in contact with his daughter and potential employers may be able to reach him. I am just too nice! lol I figured it was the least I could do as his whole life had crumbled around his feet. It is the last thing I shall ever do for him. Looking back now on the conversation we just had a half hour ago, I wonder... why on earth would I do that as he continually blames me for all that has happened?
Matters not, only that my eyes are now open and I see that there is no loss of friendship/love in our relationship.
I am happy that I am the type of person who would pay someone's bills whom she considered a friend, happy that my heart is able to love despite words/actions that were said and done. But more so that I avoided such a disaster!
The holidays are upon us and I can't wait to see what lies ahead. Wish me luck...and thanks for your many words of encouragement.
Seems that it was just yesterday that I was writing about how much I loved a certain air force man, the love is still there, just in the end it wasn't enough! That was a very hard realization to come to.
The problem started when he became a civilian and went home to visit family before joining me here in Las Vegas. He made the long drive to store his possessions in storage while I was to make living arrangements. I, being the single parent, was not going to automatically subject my son to a person he was not comfortable with or knew all that well. So Mr. Air Force and myself agreed that he was to get an apartment temporarily until we could all adjust. To be able to date and make last minute arrangements sounded like heaven!
That was not the case as our communications dwindled to less than 30 minutes a day as he stated he was busy with family and did not want to be rude, understandable, I suppose, given the circumstance that it had been a long long time since he last saw his family and was planning on moving far from them. I was somewhat patient, not as much as I would like to have been, but still patient enough.
Problem started when he got this idea that I would buy him a $270,000 RV and we would travel the world together, first in the States and then ship the rv overseas and just travel. Sounded ideal to me as it was part of my future plans for when I retired in 3 years and my son was out enjoying his life independently.
MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!!!! That's all I heard, are you going to buy it for me or not? It started to sound like an ultimatum to me and I became resentful and doubtful that I was what he was passionate about or if I was merely a means to obtaining his dream. I did not have a problem with purchasing the rv for the both of us, but all I asked in return was for him to make me happy and give me some of his time while we were separated from one another. I came to the conclusion that if I had to ask then I was not going to purchase it and he was not the person for me to take my journey with.
Tonight I texted him my farewells as I knew that talking with him and actually saying what I wanted was not going to happen. He called me back and somewhere during his apology I heard the dreaded words....So, are we going to buy the RV?...Now I don't recall him pitching in any money for the purchasing price, no talk whatsoever! lol It was at that moment that I felt relieved and satisfied with my decision.
I am looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life and am ready to live my life as it was meant to be lived. No more holding back, no more living only for my son, I want to live! Travel plans are still in the works, my job is still demanding, and I am content with my life despite losing the one relationship I felt I had waited my whole life for.
Love, no it is not always enough, but it is true, we do have to love enough to let the one we love go. Whether it is for them or for ourselves. Love is love and it is definately worth every moment spent together despite the outcome.
Am I happy? NO, but I am on my way and happy that I have experienced true love and laughter with my best friend. May he always know that my thoughts of love and happiness are always with him.
Every night I read Mr. Air Force my most recent blog, emails and journal entries. He listens intently and I can hear him sigh quietly. I read with so much emotion that my words sometimes are inaudible and I cannot say them aloud. I feel the tears well in my eyes and my words feel as though I cannot breath as they escape. I stop reading to compose myself once more and he urges me to continue reading. When I finish he is quiet and tells me that my words are beautiful and the emotions I have he cannot believe they are for him. He tells me when I read he thinks to himself...this girl really loves me!...It would not be a lie to say that is completely true. I can't believe it! I have loved in my life, but I have never loved or felt love so completely. He asks me...do you write our conversations in your blog? from thousands of miles away he chuckles...you did! ahhh..lol...I tell him...not everything, and not verbatim! Slyly I smile to myself and he just giggles his sweet giggle that melts my heart. I am kind of guilty. I just want to share with others that there are those in the world who are good, who are trustworthy, who can love completely, and are worth investing our time and our love. I am very grateful for all I have and the people who share my life. I can appreciate the kind encouraging words from strangers online. THANK YOU!! I have shared them with Mr. Air Force. He can't believe they know some things before he does...but he says when I read he can only feel my love and it matters not. I had 5 brief conversations with Mr. Air Force today. He tells me he hears a song and it immediately reminds him of me, he thinks of me throughout the day, wonders what I'm doing, where I'm going, and my plans for later, he goes to the malls and thinks to himself how I would love certain shops. He tells me I am in his dreams and I am always in his thoughts. HE IS MY DREAM - MY SUNSHINE! I smile as I listen and he says to me..you are smiling - I can hear your smile. His words are poetry. Beautiful, Awesome and Inspiring and I hope they never cease. I am so in love with this man that I cannot imagine my days or nights without his laughter and his smile, his words of love, or his presence.
I can't believe just 16 more days and Mr. Air Force will be home! YAY! lol. It is turning out to be a very expensive 30 days as our conversations did not diminish in the least, the only difference was the time of day spoke to one another. Let's see...3 hrs a night for 30 days! Hmmm...5400 minutes x .39 cents per minute! YIKEs!!! lol MONEY WELL SPENT IF I CAN TELL MY BABY I LOVE HIM!!! I kind of liked the time difference! lol His was ending and I had plenty of time to do stuff in the morning and still had the rest of the evening to just hang out with my family,friends or to do nothing. We have had some lively conversations, some serious, and some just silly...all in all it has been a very positive experience. I have found that no matter the distance the heart remains the same. All the emotions we had in the beginning have more than doubled and the trust was never doubted. I have shared with him my every thought, emotion, and days event along with a few other men who work with Mr. Air Force who read over his shoulders!!! I do not mind, but Mr. Air Force does not care to share my private thoughts with anyone and told them to find their own girlfriend. lol They told him... but your mail and girlfriend is so much better!... Thanks Guys, I take that as a compliment :) Mr. Air Force has told me that I am THE BEST person he has EVER met in his entire life, that he absolutely believes I can accomplish world peace single-handedly, and that he loves me...all within the last 24 hours!!! Thanks Babe!!! It is getting harder and harder to hang up the phone, the conversations get kind of mushy, and turn to our future. I am just enjoying the present and as far as a future goes...I will take it day by day. Mr. Air Force told me tonight when I go to the movies with my guy friend to have a great time. No insecurities at all..just like it should be!!! I have told him he could be gone for 3 years and he would have nothing to worry about, I would still be waiting for his return as though it were 8 hours later. ABSOLUTE TRUTH!!! He told me he used to worry with ex-girlfriends but he does not feel the slight bit insecure with me. Just like it should be! It is nearly 5 a.m. in the United Arab Emirate/Abu Dhabi and in a few more hours my baby will be reading his email I sent, he will read it and then call me to thank me for my words, for caring, and for brightening his day, and then he shall be wishing me a good night as I had done hours earlier when he was ending his day at 2 a.m. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.....
I have been speaking with Mr. Air Force every day since I found the correct phone number to reach him. I do not feel bad as he had given his parents the wrong number, too, and as thought...his parents thought me to be a mad woman! lol...totally understandable given the circumstances. Our nightly conversations consist of our day's events and the people we interacted with. I have informed him of my daily interactions and conversations with my friends concerning him and their thoughts of our nightly conversations. My feelings for Mr. Air Force increase with each conversation and each one ends with a kiss. I find that to be absolutely hysterical as he is standing in a room full of other men in his unit as he gives me a big kiss each and every day. My phone rings early in the morning as he states he cannot wait for me to wake up to hear my voice. We talk briefly (usually 45 minutes), and I tell him what I have planned for the day and then thank him for his call and for starting my days off perfectly!!! awwww The remainder of my day I continue to have thoughts of him, remember our conversations, and imagine. Hours later we are back on the phone as his day is nearing and it is almost tomorrow and he is just getting ready for bed. We talk another 1.5 hours as he lies in bed drifting off to sleep. Our conversations are just as silly as they were in the beginning and we both laugh a lot. I love to hear his laughter, to imagine him in bed with a smile on his lips, his eyes crinkled on the sides and his smile so wide and his eyes dark and sparkly. I can imagine so much more and cannot wait for him to be home in the States. I can't wait to throw my arms around him and to just hold him forever. To feel his breath as he whispers he missed me as much as I missed him. Our Friendship is definately strong to endure 30 days of being apart and has absolutely doubled the emotion I feel for this man. He is definately a person who possesses wonderful qualities as a human being. Someone I can share my days, my nights with, perhaps my life. He makes me hopeful, he makes me feel so special, he makes me laugh, he makes me think and have naughty thoughts, I enjoy every single precious minute with this man...and all from thousands of miles apart!!! Imagine....What a lovely month December will be when he is back on American soil...Thanks, Mr. Air Force! :)
What a difference one little day can make... I turn my ringer back on my cell and I just missed a call by 1 minute! 1 MINUTE! then I am checking voicemail and I miss another call!!! I find that it was Mr. Air Force! He states of all the people he called I was the one he wanted to hear from. How sweet is that? AWWWW He gives me the number to call him back, he sounds sad, but in general good. I immediately dial the number he gave me and I cannot place the call. I try over and over and the operators in two countries state that they cannot place my call...argghh..lol I ask the operator, "what city code am I dialing?" The operator tells me Abu Dhabi. I'm thinking..wow, shopping is great there or so I hear! lol So I go online and try to find the number myself, but to no avail :( I look at the number, yes, correct amount of numbers were given and dialed. Hmmmm...I then proceed to call his parents and leave a bizarre message for my friend's parents to later decipher! lol I give them the information to contact me and request additional information that they may have. Where is he? What Hotel? What City? What number do they have to reach him? Anything!!! I then hang up and go back to my task at hand to find my friend and talk with him. With the same information I had before. I sit in front of the notepad I had written the number on and stare at it blankly. I rearrange the numbers in different orders and then start to dial numbers randomly!!! lol..yeah, I wanted to talk with him :) Finally within a handful of numbers I get a hold of him and am speaking with him. I am so excited and it feels as though I cannot breathe! I tell him, "I can't breathe! I am so happy I found you." He can't believe I actually called him back! lol Praise be to Allah!!! lol..that was funny! come on admit it! lol So we start to talk and talk and talk. The next thing I know we have talked an hour and then an hour and a half and then two hours! WOW :) Later after our wonderful conversation he becomes slightly annoyed that I am not willing to disclose my feelings for him. I would think it would be evident as I have just spent an hour finding him by all chance of hopelessness, and had just had our $100.00 phone conversation! I tell him I am going to go as it is now 3a.m. there and he needs his rest. Which is absolutely true as he only has a few hours before he wakes. I hang up and wish him good night. We are both quiet and neither one wants to leave the other. Then the phone goes silent. I sit in my office thinking to myself. I am pissed that he would say that to me!! lol Especially after all I have done just to talk with him. I dial the number again and am immediately happy and so relaxed to just hear his voice on the other end of my phone, to hear his breathing during the pause, love that! I am so at home, so relaxed. I then proceed to ask him where he gets off saying that and after all I went through and now his parents think I am a mad woman! lol We talk normal after that and we laugh and discuss his poor parents getting that call and how it will filter through his family and he will tease me for the rest of my life for that! How am I going to live that one down? lol I tell him I am not ready to disclose any feelings I may have for him at this moment. I am sure it is evident in my actions. I think they are. He teases me that I have not had any thought of him or missed him, I read to him my last blog of him. I found it hard to read it in it's entirety to him as it is disclosing so much more than I want him to know, he urges me to read it as I wrote it and not skip any words. I disregard his request and mentally edit parts! lol He listens intently as I read. I finally finish and ask him what he thinks? Our conversation becomes a bit more serious and that is all you are going to read about our interactions last night. I shall leave the rest to your imagination or lack thereof! lol As of this moment I am content with my life, with the knowledge that I have my wonderful friendship that continues to grow with each passing day, and I am on my way to being ecstatically happy! Thanks Mr. Air Force!
Well today has been a very somber day. My first thoughts this morning were that of Mr.Air Force! Absolutely normal given the circumstances. Today he was being deployed to some country I don't remember which! lol and we won't be having our daily conversations several times per day. Started innocently enough, last week he notified me by trying to make a bet knowing I would not be able to keep it! Only because I love to talk! lol He said, "Hey, let's not talk for 30 days and see who will break first". I know if I am challenged I will try my hardest to win. I am very competitive! Winner gets the following: HIM - my company for the holiday season! ME - a small trinket for every day we don't talk! and one grand prize if I make it! lol I had already given him a list for two weeks what I wanted..all small, relax! lol..when he finally broke his little secret that he would be out of the country for 30 days and he knew he would win as we would be on different time zones and not able to talk. BRAT! lol The bet was to start today and go until the 12th of December. I was sad last night as he was out all day first with his family and then with his friends until early this morning. He called me several times and we talked for hours each one. It really hit me that he was going and he would be going to a war country! He gave me the phone number of his parents and told me to call them if I did not hear from him during the next 30 days or after the new year. He told me of his feelings for me and he asked me if I had ever given it any thought of being a military wife, he asked me how many children I wanted, and if I would learn to cook and stop shopping for nonsense! lol He was so supportive and concerned for me as I was silent and refused to answer or to think of anything to that nature. I just couldn't! He told me to think about it, and I told him no I won't. We will continue exactly where we left off when he returns. This morning I thought of him, wanted to call but knew he would be busy doing errands and packing and still wanting to win my bet! I did not want to call..lol After being awake an hour and on the road I called him. I was so sad and he was trying to console me! ME! lol I told him that I did not want him to leave the country and not talk with him just because I wanted to win a silly bet. I wanted to talk with him, hear his voice, and to just be as close to him as I possibly could. Driving and talking and being so emotional is not a good thing. He would call and I would lose service on the road, he would call back and I was on the verge of tears just thinking. I was driving so fast and upset he knows me so well, he told me "Hey, slow down!" Pull Over" "talk to me". Slow Down! I sat on the side of the road talking with him and the signal was so low we kept losing one another in mid sentence. Finally I got service and tried to call him but he was ready to leave but he made time to talk with me. He was worried about me and it shouldn't have been that way. I am sorry. He called me a loser! lol and said that he had already started to gather small gifts for me! He reminded me that one of our first conversations that I was going to fall in love with him. I told him that would never happen as Mr.Army had my heart! He kept saying NO, YOU WILL LOVE ME! You already did from the first conversation, I told him No, you had it.....lol OOOPS! I have no idea where this is going, or what will happen. All I know is I am going to miss Mr. Air Force and these will be the longest 30 days of my life! I think back to our other conversations and as usual I have a smile on my lips. The one where he said he was telling his friends of me, and I asked what he said, he told me None of your business, but it's all good..lol...He told his mother about me, showed her my pic and had her listen to my voicemail. He told me to write a journal of our conversations and interactions so he can have proof for our children that perseverence and things worth waiting for are worth fighting for and putting in effort. I told him once that he already had us married from our first conversation! He never denied anything! What am I going to do? I am going to miss his jovial playful self for 30 days. I teased him that I had his replacement ready for when he left, he told me...just so long as he knows it is only for 30 days! lol Now I ask you, how can you not love someone so understanding, secure, and willing to give you his everything? How can I?
This was to be our romantic weekend away from Las Vegas. Mr. Army and I had reconciled and were going to my weekend home. I spoke with him before he left the base and then when he was enroute I went to go check on his mail as he asked me to do for him. While there I went to check his personal site and found some disturbing information. Nothing really, just some things that he had deleted and tried to hide from me. Nothing too big, was the fact that he tried to hide something from me! I've no problem him talking with females and he is a good looking man, women are going to notice him! But he is my little eye-candy! I have no doubt about that. So I was upset and I left without him! He called and wanted me to come back for him, I said NO. Told him what I found, and he hung up on me! Two minutes later he called me back and explained everything. Things are so easy for him to explain and so believable that it is hard for me to differentiate whether he is a gifted liar or he truly is innocent and truthful with me! :) Nonetheless, I was upset..I called my best friend Mike and Mr. Air Force and boo hooed to them once again. Mike was knocking at my door within 2 hours and Mr. Air Force followed 4 hours after my call. By 2100 hrs we were sitting around a table laughing over drinks. Mr.Army called me and I told him my friends came to console me and would be spending the weekend with me. He appeared to be fine with that information. I do know that Mr. Army hates Mike because we dated briefly and my son jokingly refers to him as New Daddy! lol We went to sleep at 0230 and then woke early the next day to go off-roading and later that night partying on the lake. Mr.Army called several times during the day and asked what we were doing. i told him I was napping and he asked...alone? lol...YES, ALONE! My companions were out again on the lake drinking having fun. He talked a little and then hung up the phone. Later it was his turn to get drunk and then the phone calls started. I ended up turning off my phone that night. I am sure that added fuel to the fire and his imagination! I am sure he had thoughts of a threesome all weekend long! lol I can tell you that I did get plenty of attention, lots of winks and flirty comments, sweet kisses brushing my cheeks and forehead, and cuddling. Both of them did not seem to mind the other one being there. I had a busy weekend fighting the attention of not 1 but 3 inebriated men vying for my attention! Talk about work! lol I don't know how people can juggle multiple relationships! My hats off to you, I can barely do one! lol My weekend home has one cal king bed and my sons room is separated from the home 50 ft in the rear of the house. None of them wanted to sleep there and I can't say I blame them! lol We all slept together in that one bed and I had never felt so safe as to knowing that I had the best protection a woman can ever have...Mr. Air Force in front and Mr. Policeman behind me! lol I can tell you that I do not regret one moment of this weekend as I laughed, giggled, and was happy the entire time. I am pretty sure that I do not have a boyfriend when I get home. I am on my way out the door to meet Mr. Army for dinner and for my reprimanding! I have just kissed and thanked my two best friends for rushing to my aid in a time I needed them most. I thank them for being my saviors and coming to rescue my weekend of pouting, crying, and anger and turned it in to a beautiful fun weekend. Thanks! FYI...Mr. Army forgave me, and said...never sleep in bed with any other man again while you are my woman! and no more cuddling! lol WHAT A MAN!!! Tarzan has nothing on him...I guess I'm His Jane! lol
Okay, you heard me mention my soon-to-be 16 year old son...I'll tell you a little about him. He and I have a wonderful relationship where we actually sit down each night and talk with one another about our day. His is far more exciting than mine each day, but he still is interested to know who I saw today, what happened, and how I handled the situation. Children learn by example: I don't tell him so and so got me so pissed I just wanted to scream at him! Instead he hears, I had a situation where an employee and myself were unable to reach an understanding in a timely manner and we both decided to finish our discussion tomorrow. TRUE! I am not a person who reacts...I will walk away, gather my facts, think of every possible scenario and argument in my head...I will talk with the person again, but not in a confrontational manner, I will approach the person just as I had the first time. In a professional, jovial manner wanting to get the project moving along. Before I had my son I was a reactor..I could afford to be..but not anymore. I always have eyes watching me, learning from me, and in awe of my coolness. I will pass on great parenting advice for new parents: 1) Children want to know what the rules are 2) Children want to know what the consequences are 3) Children want to know...ARE THE RULES GOING TO BE ENFORCED! Come on Parents: this is easy peasy!...Be Consistent! Be United! Be Loving and be Firm. Rules are Rules...that is why they are called RULES. In my son's 15 years of living I have never waivered on a single rule. He has never thrown a fit...oh, I take that back, once in Toys R Us he tried! He was 3 years old, wanted more, and started crying. I told him in my normal voice that he could get the 10 he had in the basket or that 1 toy! he wanted all 11 of them!!! lol I then told him if he did not stop that we would walk out of the store and he would have none..he did not stop..so I walked! He had nothing. He understood from that day that NO MEANT NO! Throughout the years, he has told me numerous times that he loves me and appreciates me and thinks I am a really good mother and I am understanding enough of his needs and feelings to listen to him. I am not always right...and I will listen to him and YES, HE IS RIGHT sometimes..lol! He has told me Thank You many times. My son knows I joke a lot and am not always serious, and I will tease even him at times, but there are times he needs me to be serious and to be a parent. So we have created a password for just such a situation. When I hear it I am instantly in Parent Mode! lol Whatever it takes Parents! - Do It! Now it is our custom that on Sunday he makes breakfast for me (his choice) as a little thank you for all the meals and snacks I make Monday-Saturday. He has told me that not all parents are like me, that his friends' parents are reactors, not understanding and are very militant! (no puns intended! lol) I am very blessed to have had this child. He truly is a gift from God. He is the first one to reach in to his pocket and pull out his own money and ask for mine to give to charities, homeless persons, and Angel Tree. He has headed up a children donation group where he organizes donations that donate used clothing and toys to different facilities. He has knocked on doors for food donations during the holiday seasons so neighborhood families will have something to prepare for their holiday meals. He is the one cutting and cleaning the yards of the elderly on a Saturday morning. He is appreciative of what he has and befriends everyone he meets. Don't get me wrong, he is not perfect..I did say he was near perfect, remember?..lol He is not the normal child, he is the one people see on the streets and will cross the street as to not walk by him, he is the one that no one will look in the eye as to not provoke him! He is the one being picked out amongst a crowded room. He is the 6'2" 180 lbs child with long spikes for hair, dark make-up, and clothing that is black and ripped...He says, Hey Mom, don't you like this? I am going to start my own clothing line!...lol...He sews, embroiders, pins his clothes together and rips them to his liking. He is the one in a jester hat, wearing the mask that frightens everyone! YES, I said MASK! lol..He is the one wearing a KILT! YEP yep..lol He is the one wearing PINK! lol...He is the child that calls me Mommy, and holds my hands in public and will kiss my cheek gently to this day. He is the kid who has an IQ higher than most adults, he is the most compassionate and empathetic human being walking the streets, he is the most interesting person I have ever had the pleasure to know! And I am so proud to say he is my son!!! So please People, do not judge people by their looks, you may be missing out on someone truly extraordinary with a heart of gold!!
I love them! The english language is so complex and yet so simple. Yet, there are so few people who truly grasp the complexities and simplicities to form the smallest of sentences! lol <--- i.e! It is a good thing I am so versatile an individual to go along with all the condensing and abbreviating that is happening online! It also doesn't hurt that my brain is fully loaded and spell check is one of the features!!!! lol I am telling you this because I was online in a chatroom and I am a "voyeur" as to how people are interacting with one another..well, as they attempt a poor interpretation of interaction! You do get the point, right? Conversations begin with ASL? In my thoughts I am thinking...asl (age,sex,location) answer...None of your damn business! lol 2) hello? ASL?...answer: SAME 3) Are you horny?..ANSWER: SAME!!! I sit at my keyboard with my fingers poised for action, a million quick-witted responses come to mind, I mill through them and grab the best of the best comment...ANSWER: HUH? lol...Come on People! Am I the only individual online who is perturbed with this shoddy attempt at conversation? Am I the only one feeling insulted that others think me a complete imbecile and incapable of having an intelligent conversation? Am I the only individual online whose hormones are not running rampant as I sit in front of my monitor? I have always instilled the importance of words to my son from the age of 2. In the first grade he was usings words as "nemesis, educational institution (i.e. Mommy, could you please remove me earlier than usual from my educational institution? - ANSWER: SAME! - Kidding..ANSWER: Okay, my little Sunshine). Words are so powerful, they cannot be seen or touched, and yet they can emit so much emotion. They have the power to make people cry, happy, to feel love, to make others somber, anger, rage, hate, to free a person who is wrongly accused or is guilty but with one heck of a good attorney! lol..and so many more emotions. They are the tools I use which inhabit my daily life. Without my words I would be the one asking ASL! You wouldn't want that, believe me..I am one persistent person! lol I am sure right now you have a few words for me, but HEY..Life is too short to fret over words a stranger has committed to a blog. Although taking a step back, and giving my words some thought would not hurt others and could actually enhance one's professionalism and communication skills. I met an attorney online, we talked briefly online and on the phone. I told him one day...I thought him to be an eloquent, and hard working person who wanted to present himself as a capable attorney in the courtroom and in front of his peers...that by removing the UMM, AHH, and the other sound effects would do just that. He called me a month later and said...WOW! I can't believe something so simple as removing the UMMMs would change my professional life! Believe it Babe! It's that simple!!! lol I am not an educator of words in any institution and I cannot properly graph a sentence! lol but I do and can appreciate words and the english language. Oh Hey...I forgot to ask ya'll...ASL? lol
Have you ever been at a point in your life where you absolutely must make a decision that would/could alter your entire life? Have you ever been able to make a decision without the emotions and totally weighed all aspects and outcomes possible? I have never done such a thing in my entire life. To be truthful, it scares me. I am a person who has lived life with the fullest of emotions, have thought things out (ad naseum) but never without the other. Now on top of this decision add a timeframe! Oh my goodness.....You remember me mention, Mr. Yummy? Mr. 25-year old army? Mr. Iwanttomarryyou! Who you have not heard of is Mr. 27-year old who is getting out of the air force and wants to travel the world with me! Mr. 27-year old knows about Mr. Army and vice versa. But Mr. Army does not know about Mr. Air Force wanting me to travel extensively with him. Don't get me wrong, I am not involved with Mr. 27 year old other than being friends. He has other ideas. He makes me laugh and feel as though I am all that matters. I tease him that I am not going to get involved with him and am waiting for Mr. mid-20 Marine! lol Mr. Army is the epitome of what a physical and gentleman should be, and any female would be happy and very lucky to have the heart of Mr. Army, but the same problems exist. I am not sure they will ever just disappear or could be resolved. It is my life!... and I am pretty happy with my life. Do I go forth and just see what happens and possibly become ridiculously happy with Mr. Army or should I laugh with Mr. Air Force and see the world? Should I just be me independently? It is not as though in a year I will be able to travel extensively, I do have a son still in school living at home full-time. Do I see either one of these people as a father role to my son, could I see them as someone worthy of being in the lives of me and my son's. Would Mr. 25 year old (actually Mr. 26 year old as of 2 days ago! lol), want to be and realize my son is part of the package? Tough decision, I am sure when the time to decide, I will have already made the decision in my heart and head and follow them both in a joined decision! I just realized that I have already made my decision. Thanks for letting me ramble.....
Okay, here it is..I bought a beautiful 2006 Titan truck! I love it, but it does have side effects!!!! I am warning all who drive the streets of Las Vegas. It makes me aggressive, and i become a bully on the roads! Yep, that's me riding your ass!!!! lol I feel invincible, I feel like hitting the sidewalks, the dirt, the hills, anything that will give me that WHOOOO Feeling! lol I find it totally odd as I was the driver who was always just cruising to my own pace, usually under the speed limit and in no hurry. I was the one who was singing loudly in the car at the red lights that you watched, the one you would flip off for going so slow. Yep, ME... I mean, seriously, what is so important that one would need to go so fast only to reach the next light 5 seconds earlier than others and sit there and look at me again. I find that really funny. Behavior like that. DUMB...!!!!! Enough talking, I'm going for a cruise. Bye People....
